"I love my all-African Aquarium!"

When I first started the tank, I had a quartet each of the jet black and baby blue striped Melanochromis sp. "maingano" and the recently re-introduced blue and gold zebra, Pseudotropheus estherae. And that was it, simple beauty: all Lake Malawi cichlids. Black, blue, and orange, bright and fluorescent. I cam back from a fish convention in Colorado with a group of Labidochrmis caeruleus, an all-white, pearly version of the popular Lemon-Yellow Lab very pretty indeed. The fish lived, swam, ate and bred in relative harmony.

One day I was visiting with a friend, and he had some "Cichlasoma" sieboldii, an unusual cichlid from Costa Rica. Now, I know Costa Rica isn't in Africa at all: it is in Central America. This fish is unusual when compared to other cichlids of its natural range, in that it resembles the Lake Malawi algae-scraping mbuna in its appearance, habits, and spirit. Although basically greay in color, they were odd-looking with an underslung nose, so that the nose of the fish sticks out slightly farther than the mouth. So anyway, I rationalized that they were similar enough to a mbuna so I might as well aquire some for my all-African aquarium.

A few weeks later I was visiting a local pet store. In one of the tanks I found some Neetroplus nematopus, sometimes known as Little Lake cichlids or "neets." Now, even though neets look alot like African cichlids, they aren't. Instead, they come from Central America, just like the sieboldii. Neets are also basically colorless. However, when they spawn, they too bear a striking resemblance to an African cichlid, Lake Tanganyika's Tropheus duboisi. Their normally gray bodies turn black with a white vertical bar up the center, from the ventral surface to the dorsal fin. Anyway, some of the neets in the tank were looking pretty good and were starting to turn black in preparation for courtship. I had to have some. I bought what seemed like a surefire pair and an extra one of whatever sex, for inclusion in my all-African aquarium.
 

"I love my all-African Aquarium!"

Just like my bowels, the months passed, and the other mbuna either fucked (like I had secretly hoped), or beat the living shit out of each other (like I had secretly feared) and so they were moved out and given to Norm (just what he needs more fish) or sold to Steve (this is something that Steve whines about all the fucking time...but here is the fact: Norm is a friend, so I give him the fish. But since Steve is a business or owns a business I sell him the goddamned worthless unwanted fish. Get the fucking picture, asshole?) But the sieboldii and the neets remained, joined by some true African specimens: Labidochromis sp. "mbamba" (unusual), Labidochromis chisumulae (pretty), Cynotilapia sp. "Jalo" (pretty but died within a few weeks), and Petrotilapia sp. "Small Blue" (pretty only when little, before big as your average, ever-loving motherfucking tilapia).

Once the Cynotilapia sp. "Jalo" all but died (this didn't take too long), I decided this was an excuse to get more fish for my all-African aquarium. I opted for two pairs. And by denoting that these fish were pairs, one might correctly guess that these fish were of the New World, substrate-spawning, biparental-fucking kind and not of the Old World, oral-fixated, multiple partner kind. The first pair was a nice young couple, "Cichlasoma" septemfasciatus, which come from roughly the same area as the neets, in Central America. They look like convict cichlids in shape but have pretty blue cheeks in pinkish bodies. Fellatio? Fellatio? No-strings cunnilingus is the name of the game. Remember: the dead one is full again. The second species of fish was a lovely, proven pair of Thorichtys maculipinnis, a rose-breasted and blue-spotted firemouth-like fish from Mexico. I knew that all four fish would make perfect additions to my all-African aquarium.

I started to watch my tank alot. The Petrotilapia, once a pretty, bright orange, were now headed for adulthood and losing their color. Not wanting to witness the reverse butterfly syndrome in my precious waters (the reverse butterfly effect occurs when a young, beautiful gem-like creature of any kind turns into a big, ugly, foul, crude, disgusting thing. Witness Elizabeth Taylor, for instance), I promised myself I would dispose of these fish and get some fish to replace them. Well, I visited a friend in Beaverton, and some really neat fish that I knew would be perfect for my all-African aquarium.
 

"I love my all-African Aquarium!"
 

The first was "Cichlasoma" spilurus. This was not a particulary coloful fish, but it can still be described as being quite attractive. Spilurums, as they are frequently called, have a pretty widespread distribution throughout Belize and Guatemala in Central America (but not Africa, unless it got put there). It is also convict-like in appearance, but has blue eyes and a yellowish belly, plus a bluish sheen over a body of purplish-brown vertical bars.

I got two girl fish and a boy to sire them with his big, meaty fish dick once they got older.
 

The second species overlaps the spilurum in its natural distribution. It's none other than the the common "Cichlasoma" salvini, sometimes labeled as "Salvin's cichlid" or the "tricolor cichlid" in fish shops. The latter of the two names is almost accurate. Tricolor cichlids, in case you cared, have triangular yellow bodies, red bellies, and blue fins. They can be agressive but pair up readily and guard their territory voraciously and thus make themselves somewhat interesting to watch or something like that. As they age, guy tricolors turn gray with blue dots all over the place while the gals turn yellow and are quite stunning. Especially when mixed with a runny slurry of diarrhea and water, vomit can make one nauseated when floating in the toilet bowl. So I coveted a young pair and a half and threw the little buggers into my all-African aquarium, tossing them through the opening in the top of the tank like a lance decorated with flags. OY!
 
I came to the surprising decision or assumption or conclusion that maybe I had too much or too many fish in my tank. I liked the caeruleus, with their pearly orchid-colored bodies, but something has to go and I had a spare twenty gallon tank that looked just right for them. That left the mbamba. Now these are neat fish: royal blue bodies, black vertical bars, an orange fringe to the dorsal fin that's what the guys look like, at least. The girl mbamba look like blackbirds feeding on rice, with red wings looking like diamonds and lice. Both sexes have point noses, with succulent, protruding, pouting lips. I flushed the fuckers, of course...

But that's a day,
It fits in just fine,
With all of the rest of my fish
In my all-African aquarium...

sexpot 
sexpot 
sexpot